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On the Road Again, Again

A short while back, I caught a glimpse of my reflection while frantically scrubbing water spots off the sinks to ready the house for yet another showing. It caused me to pause for a moment. I looked tired, haggard even. I would go so far as to say that I almost did not recognize myself. Not because I’m not tired. I am damned tired, even moreso now that the house is being packed. But, on the inside, I am excitedly preparing for another adventure. So, I guess I figured that might show in my reflection.

Yes, we are moving again. No, we are not in the witness protection program. We are simply moving towards opportunity, taking what each time presents itself as the next logical step. I suppose if I were to hop outside of my life and take a gander from a distance, I might cringe. And, if I had seen a road map of what my life was going to be when I was younger, I might have hidden under my bed curled up in a ball.

I used to be a plotter and a planner. Each decision had to be mapped out and executed cautiously. I was following a road, a creature of habit, happy in my routines. Well, comfortable and content.

Then, while I was in college studying abroad (something I had planned out from the moment I learned it was “a thing”), I made a spur-of-the-moment choice to jump off my well-paved path. Instead, I hopped onto a stepping stone, and then another and another, curious to see where they would take me. I have never regretted this decision to go with the flow, to accept deviations, and to suppress my natural “planning” tendency enough to keep it flexible.

So far it has taken me to places and people that have shaped who I am in fundamental ways. Even those experiences I might be tempted to erase if I were to happen upon a time machine (The Great Termite Battle comes to mind), have taught me important life lessons and extended my list of friends.

What about the kids? Isn’t it hard on the kids? Questions I often hear. For obvious reasons, it is not possible to compare what would have been and could have been to what was and is. I can only make observations based on who they have become as people with the moves under their belts.

I will readily admit that there were (and are) times when I have felt (feel) guilty about moving them. I won’t deny that it is hard to say goodbye to friends, and to make new ones. They have very different personalities and moving presents each with his or her own challenges. But on the whole, I see how readily they accept new environments and adapt. I love how open they all are to the fact that different people do things in different ways, and understand that there is no one right path. And, I appreciate the way that we have grown to depend on each other as a family, a consistant base and safe place.

So, if you see me looking really tired and perhaps even out of sorts, don’t worry. That’s just on the outside. On the inside I am really tired, maybe a little out of sorts, and extremely excited about what’s to come.

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